I remember these terms from a book on "Organization Behavior", I read two years ago. Yet, the implications and significance of the difference between these two emotions, has become evident lately.
There are times I find myself smiling; my friends call it the "artificial smile". I call it "the displayed emotion". The real emotion goes hidden! Fishy as it sounds, the gap often unnerves me. So, when I want to shout or scold the person who's bothering me, I end up flashing a big smile.
Again I ask myself, "why do I do that?" and I put this question to others too.
Why are we afraid of displaying our real emotions? Why do we limit ourselves to boundaries of social etiquette? Why are certain emotions considered unfit to be displayed?
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I Speak You Speak English Demo by Englishteacher Namrata Arora
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2 comments:
The good news is that you are full of "real" questions. Not so good news is that answers do not pop up too suddenly. Be patient and be observant. Acceptence of non-answers is an essential part of self training.
Namrata, I wish to copy and paste an excerpt from Chapter 8 of my book 'The Power of Raw Thought' (read till end where I make a point about acceptance)- a conversation between me and the Monk :
“Instead of so much of inquiry, you should practice to develop sense of acceptance—acceptance of whatever is. The peace lies in accepting.”
He tugged my arm lightly—a signal to stop, and we stopped near the patio door.
“What was your destination when you left Jeddah?”
“Geneva.” I wondered where would this go.
I realized that my line of questioning was ‘one thing lead to another’; there would be no end to it. I had forgotten the rehearsed questions.
“No. It was not Geneva; it was back to Jeddah. You are on a visit to Switzerland; Geneva is not your destination, Jeddah is.” After a pause, “same way, this Ashram is not your destination; your destination is back to the hotel in Geneva. You are in transit in these places.
“There is always a home, wherefrom we go to a place and return back to the home. We create temporary homes within the journey. In your case, the hotel is a temporary home within the journey. While in the Ashram, you made this building a home. We sat outside for a while, now we are going back home to the building. Despite the two temporary homes in this example; if I should ask you ‘where is your home’, your answer would not be this building, or the hotel; you would say Jeddah or New Delhi even though you left India a while ago.
“A home is a place where we belong. For every journey, the home itself is the final destination. Imagine the plight of a person who might lose his or her memory during a journey and forget where his or her home was!
“Similar to a physical journey, the mind has an internal journey. Every time you ask a question, you leave home to seek the answer, and return back—back to: whoever you are: ‘I am-ness’ is your home address. During a conversation, you make temporary homes, but you always know your final home address at every point in time—the original ‘I am’. The ‘I am’ you were born as, is the final home address no matter how many times you may have changed your address during your lifetime.
“The people of the world have forgotten their home address. We monks remind them of it—the address where the raw thought arises from—the original home. I am sure you know your home address—the address where you anchor during the meditation. Asking questions means going out on a journey, but during the journey do not forget your home address.”
“So, I should not ask questions.”
“Sure you ask questions, but upon not finding an answer do not continue on a journey indefinitely. Return home, i.e. meditate and re-establish your original ‘I am-ness’. Again, return to the question if you wish. At some point, accept non-answer as a final answer. Return to meditate again—i.e. back to the original home address, and accept the non-answer. Acceptance of things as they are, is a return journey back to home. By asking questions that do not have answers, you may enter a maze wherefrom you may lose the way back to home”
“You mean ask questions but never forget your original ‘I am-ness’.
“Precisely.”
“And, by accepting of things as they are, the reason for (unnecessary) seeking is stopped in its tracks, right? You sit back at home, and if your home is blissful and serene, you just abide there.”
“Precisely. You would step out (of home) to provide for survival, or for exploration, but do not go too far out lest you may get lost, and always return home. Every explorer needs a home at the end of the journey where he or she would return to, to abide in peace and harmony.”
Journey away from home seems very attractive, just like wealth or other materialistic pursuits.
In fact, I put these questions to precisely asses the distance I have traveled away from "my home"...
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