Saturday, August 9, 2008

to question what is right from me

I can hardly recall the time, when I first understood the sounds around me and perceived their meanings.
I remember wanting to shout at the top of my voice when I was in KG. one stare and a reprimand by my favorite teacher taught me the basics of public etiquettes.
well, as I grew up, i realized that the things i cherished doing had to be molded according to the whims and fancies of my dear ones. never thought of questioning their thinking? but then came a time when i started questioning their opinions.
how could certain things be right for others and wrong form me?

4 comments:

nancy said...

sorry its "to question what is right FOR me"

Sharde said...

Hi Nancy!
It is the last question you ask in the post that engages me most!! Isn't it always true? What is right for one is often, if not always, wrong for another? Am obviously not talking about common denominators: what is good for the goose is good for the gander! However, even the most generous of women would not agree with me when I say: what is good for the man is good for the woman!! Sometimes it might totally be wrong.

Yet another twist to the answer: What is good/right for a person at one time, might be totally bad/wrong for the same person at another time!!

The grown-up world gives us a belief system from their own experiences and wisdom. Yet, when we live our own lives, we discover so many things that don't work according to those old rules, simply because the world has changed. So, we discover our own rules, our own ways of doing things, which are often completely at variance with what has been taught to us! It is so easy and tempting to jump to the conclusion that the older people who gave us our first rule book are all wrong, and what we know first-hand is correct! However, it would perhaps be more accurate to concede that what they told us was right for their time for THEM, and what we have discovered on our own using our own judgment is right for US today.

This has often been trivialized by referring to it as a generation gap by many, but on a more generic scale, it is valid for each human being who chooses to examine his/her belief systems. What we know during our childhood, somehow seems trivial/wrong/irrelevant during adolescence, and later during youth, simply because we change, our understanding changes!

Gently put, what is right for one may not be right for ALL, and what is right for one at one time is usually not right for the same person at another time!!

So, does this mean that as a species we are inconsistent? Over to you Nancy! :-)

nancy said...

I really can't argue on that and as you explained, one has to accept the transition in life which could entail a change in our opinion too

Sharde said...

Then how does one stick to being consistent? Where does one draw the line?

If I say something today, and change tomorrow, I run the risk of being labelled a liar, erratic and flaky!! Most people promise a lot more than they actually deliver in the end, and we criticize them. Yet, isn't it possible that to change is our basic nature? That we must also accept this thing in ourselves and others?

Yet, friends expect their friendships to last for ever and stay the same way. Lovers are devastated when something beautiful doesn't stay that way and ebbs or transforms into something less heady, passionate and permanent. Employees are expected to be loyal, as long as they are working for a company. Our relationship to things/objects is also expected to stay the same. WHY?

Why don't we accept the fact that if things and relationships can begin, they can end too? Why do we always look for reasons for failure or for things not having worked out? Why can't we simply say: Oh it didn't work out. Oh it was not the same as before. Oh we changed!

Here today, gone tomorrow. Isn't the world fleeting, transient? What does then one cling to? What doesn't change? Is there something at all like that? Hmmm... I wonder...